Collection
by LibraryGirl
Summary: Collection of song fics I did for Seifer & Squall. Mushy angst?
1. Not A Day Goes By

Title: Not A Day Goes By

Author: LibraryGirl

Rating: G

Pairing(s): Seifer/Squall *yummi* ^_~

Notes: none

Disclaimer: I own nothing! If you want to think that I actually have Squall tied up somewhere in my closet, by all means, go have a look. However, you won't find Squall or Seifer. So there! If SquareSoft wants to sue me, go ahead! But ya ain't gettin' nothin'! Oh…The song's not mine either. ^_^

Lyrics by: Steve Diamond and Maribeth Derry

Performed by: Lonestar

Not A Day Goes By 

* * *

It was over.

The war.

The bloodshed.

Over and done.

They could get on with their lives. Quistis, Zell, Irvine, Selphie, and Rinoa. They could all move on. Put the whole damned thing behind them.

All of them could.

Except Squall.

So much more had happened during the whole ordeal than what he was willing to share.

In all that had happened, he was still in love.

In love?

Yes, he was in love.

With?

Seifer Almasy.

* * *

Got a picture of you, I carry in my heart 

_Close my eyes to see it, when the world gets dark._

* * *

Seifer was gone.

Not dead, mind you, but gone.

No one knew where he was or what he was doing. Rumors were everywhere. Some said he committed suicide in a guilty state of depression. Some said he was spending time in the D-District Prison. Others had a happier ending; he was in Fisherman's Horizon, living with his wife, Fujin and their son.

Squall refused to believe any of them.

Seifer was out there… Somewhere.

And Squall saw him, every time he closed his eyes.

* * *

Got a memory of you, I carry in my soul; 

_I wrap it close around me, when the nights get cold._

* * *

They had been together.

Secretly, of course.

Not because they were ashamed of each other, but because they liked putting on the show of rivalry. They laughed about when they were alone, behind closed doors. 

All of their built up frustration was always able to come out in one long night of passion.

Their first time had been perfect, and that was the one Squall always thought of when he was alone.

Alone.

He was always alone, but on some nights, it got to be too much, and he'd lie there, finding the faint taste of Seifer at the tip of his tongue.

* * *

_If you asked me how I'm doin', I'd say just fine._

_But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind._

* * *

If he ever met up with Seifer again, somewhere down the road, Squall knew he'd fall in love all over again.

He could admit that to himself.

But he'd never in a million years admit that to Seifer.

No.

That would show weakness, and Squall Leonhart was not weak.

If he did see Seifer, he'd just look at his ex-love and tell him that everything was peachy-keen.

Of course, the Ice King wouldn't exactly say 'peachy-keen.' He'd say he was doing just fine.

Fine.

* * *

_Not a day goes by, that I don't think of you._

_After all this time, you're still with me it's true._

_Somehow you remain, locked so deep inside._

_Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by._

* * *

Everyday, Squall was haunted by Seifer.

He could be doing nothing, and he'd have some sort of way to connect to Seifer.

He'd be sitting in his office, going through SeeD reports, and he'd suddenly get the urge to spar.

He could be taking a shower, and he'd wonder if Seifer would mind that he was using his shampoo instead of his own.

It was just the little things, but Seifer was always there.

And always in Squall's heart.

* * *

_I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night,_

_Thinkin' you might call me, if your dreams don't turn out right._

* * *

No one except Squall knew it, but before the war, Seifer had been tormented with nightmares. The blonde would've given anything to snuggle with Squall when one of these happenings occurred, but the Garden staff was strict about curfew.

Instead, he'd call Squall and tell him about it.

Though he was sleepy, Squall would listen patiently and tell Seifer that it was only a dream.

Lately, Squall had been finding himself waking up in the middle of the night, thinking he had heard the phone ring or swearing Seifer was going to call.

* * *

And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark, 

_Wishin' you were next to me, your head against my heart._

* * *

Squall would lie in his bed; his entire room dark with the late hours of the night, wishing Seifer was with him.

The brunette had always rested his head on Seifer's chest after sex, but he wanted to see the Great Seifer Almasy in all his cockiness to actually be vulnerable. Not to be mean, of course, but because Squall felt that Seifer owed it to himself to relax once and awhile.

* * *

_If you asked me how I'm doing, I'd say just fine._

_But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind._

_Not a day goes by, that I don't think of you._

_After all this time, you're still with me it's true._

_Somehow you remain locked so deep inside_

_Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by._

* * *

Seifer seemed to be everywhere.

Selphie did an article on him in the Garden's school newspaper.

Quistis assigned one of her students in her Garden History class to do a report on him.

Irvine made off-hand comments about Seifer's gunblade skills.

And even Zell would mumble about how he felt sorry for the poor guy.

Squall just couldn't get away from it. 

Seifer haunted him.

* * *

_Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days._

_Seems it's been forever, that I've felt this way._

* * *

How long ago had it been since Squall had actually _seen_ Seifer face to face?

Not fighting during the war, but actually _seen _him?

Actually looked into those jade depths?

Months? 

Almost a year?

When they were sparring…and they gave each other scars. That seemed to be their way of saying that they were over. That it wasn't going to work out anymore.

Seifer knew he had been called to be the Sorceress's Knight, and he, in his brainwashed state, willing left Squall.

But the scars.

They were marked.

Bound together.

Only by their scars.

Squall thought that was Seifer's way of saying that he still loved him.

A strange way of showing affection, Squall knew, but the scars showed that they belonged to each other.

No matter how long they would be apart.

* * *

_Not a day goes by, that I don't think of you._

_After all this time, you're still with me it's true._

_Somehow you remain, locked so deep inside._

_Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by._

* * *

+ AN: Got this idea while folding laundry and listening to my little sister's country CD. It made me think of this song…which I LOVE! And then BAM! Here we are at 2:07am with a story! Can you believe it only took me an hour? *does happy dance* Insomnia rocks! ^_^ Hope y'all liked it! Oh, and don't judge me by my music preferences. I listen to and love anything and everything. If you don't like Lonestar and that song, no one is forcing you to. Okay? Good. 


	2. What I Really Meant To Say

Title: What I Really Meant To Say

Author: LibraryGirl

Rating: G

Pairing(s): Seifer/Squall *yummi* ^_~

Notes: Sequel to Not A Day Goes By

Disclaimer: I own nothing! If you want to think that I actually have Squall tied up somewhere in my closet, by all means, go have a look. However, you won't find Squall or Seifer. So there! If SquareSoft wants to sue me, go ahead! But ya ain't gettin' nothin'! Oh…The song's not mine either. ^_^

Written by: Cyndi Thomson, Chris Waters and Tommy Lee James

Performed by: Cyndi Thomson

What I Really Meant To Say

            Squall never would have expected to see Seifer again. Seifer was gone, now just a piece of history. But there he was. Just a few feet in front of the hero. Squall had just been out to Balamb to get Lionheart remodeled. He had been minding his own business. And there was Seifer.

* * *

_It took me by surprise,_

_When I saw you standing there,_

_Close enough to touch,_

_Breathing the same air._

* * *

            Squall had been too shocked to even think of something to say, and that let Seifer be the first to speak, "How've ya been?" The question was asked if nothing had ever happened. As if they had never shared anything. As if they were old friends. 

            A cold smirk found its way to Squall's lips. "Fine." But that was a lie.

* * *

_You asked me how I'd been._

_I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine._

_Oh, but baby, I was lying._

* * *

            Squall knew that was a lie, the worst lie he had ever told. He was not "fine." He was dying. Not physically but emotionally. Since Seifer had left, he had begun to rebuild his walls around his heart. He wouldn't let anyone in. That's why Rinoa had left. She had given up on trying to break into his heart.

            But Squall knew what he really meant to say. He meant to say that he missed Seifer. More and more with each passing day. There wasn't a night he hadn't cried. And the truth was that he was still in love. He just couldn't bring himself to say it.

* * *

What I really meant to say 

_Is I'm dying here inside._

_I miss you more each day._

_There's not a night I haven't cried._

_And baby here's the truth:_

_I'm still in love with you._

_That's what I really meant to say._

* * *

            "That's good," Seifer replied, sounding a bit disappointed. Maybe he expected Squall to be miserable. He smiled, wished Squall a good day, and walked away.

            Squall's mind replayed the scene, and the echo of his words cut deeply. He fought to hold back his tears, trying to hold on to his pride. He watched Seifer walk away and he wondered if Seifer would ever know…

* * *

_And as you walked away,_

_The echo of my words,_

_Cut just like a knife,_

_Cut so deep it hurt._

_I held back the tears,_

_Held on to my pride, _

_And watched you go._

_I wonder if you'll ever know…_

* * *

            Why did he have to lie? He could've just told the truth. Maybe it would've been better if he had told the truth. Maybe Seifer would've stayed with him. Then Squall wouldn't have to hurt. Because Seifer would be there.

* * *

What I really meant to say 

_Is I'm dying here inside._

_I miss you more each day._

_There's not a night I haven't cried._

_And baby here's the truth:_

_I'm still in love with you._

_That's what I really meant to say._

* * *

            Squall wasn't as strong as everyone thought. He was weak. He tried to hold on. He struggled to hold on. But he felt as if he was losing his grasp. He was still in love with Seifer, and he couldn't deny it. But why couldn't he just say it?

* * *

_What I really meant to say,_

_Is I'm really not that strong._

_No matter how I try I'm still holding on,_

_And here's the honest truth:_

_I'm still in love with you._

_That's what I really meant to say._


End file.
